rotten scar!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I lean to my length,
and loneliness smirks.
I feel a bit lighter now,
having left the world uncovered, unconquered.

It hit me hard, hard on my head,
and left a rotten scar there,
and pained me till it grew uglier;
left me dead... Jesus, I wanted to be dead,
to see the light beneath the dark.

And I can't touch my scar,
even though there is no pain now.
My fingers don't hurt my eyes anymore,
and I want to be blind for it to be darker.

The grave suits me more
than those earthly treasures.
Loneliness brings relief,
and lightness takes away the grief.
No more gloomy days or nights.

The rotten scar shines off,
and I can't be anything but grateful,
thankful that it rid me of myself,
my rubbish-clot self.

God, just give me one more rotten scar.